Yesterday and today I stayed home from work because I have this awful head, chest, throat, and sinus sickness. I am lethargic, I can’t stand up without getting dizzy, and I have enough phlegm stored in my face to use up all the tissues in the house.
It is so frustrating.
For me, being sick is so stressful because I can’t be myself. I can’t work as hard, I can’t keep the house clean, I can’t even take care of myself… and it makes me feel helpless! Being sick is hard and sooo boring!
Working from home of course helps, but I still get really down and stressed when I’m sick, which does NOT aid in me getting better. I am so full of emotion and frustration over something so small, and I know that my anxiety makes the simplest of inconveniences (especially ones I can’t control) more difficult to handle.
It’s stressful because I work so hard and put my all into everything, and it’s just not possible to do that in this physical and mental state. It’s difficult because I am so critical of myself and so worried all the time about doing enough at work, at home, and in my regular daily life.
I am having a hard time taking it easy on myself and just resting while being sick instead of being worked up and anxious. This week has been tough on me, and I need help getting back to my normal self.
I need a pick-me-up. So I resort back to my self-taught meditation that grounds me and brings me peace.
Since I was about sixteen, I had to be strong and take extra steps to feel normal and stop blaming myself for something that is out of my control. I repeat these things in my mind to remember who I am:
“You’re awesome, you are kick ass at your job, and you have done much more than you ever thought you could while being sick
You HAVE to listen to your body and provide self care when needed
You have an incredible support system of family, friends, and a baby dog Zombie who loves the crap out of you to take care of you while you’re sick
You can choose to let go of stress and frustration and focus on what is good to get you through it
You have always taken care of yourself and there is no shame in letting someone else take care of you when you’re weak”.
To anyone else who has this problem of self criticism, just a word of advice: encourage yourself. It does work to think positive thoughts and to make yourself come out of a slump, no matter how small or silly it may seem. And never feel bad about taking care of yourself.
In order to be the best version of you, you must practice self care. I am going to take my own advice tonight by doing this.
I am going to return to my couch and eat a nice healthy dinner with a glass of red wine and watch Netflix with my love, while remembering that sometimes small problems seem big when they’re right in your face, but when you keep walking it will disappear behind you the further you get.
Thank you for listening to my venting and self-love speech, and have a good night, friends.