It’s January 3rd and I can’t help but talk about New Year’s Resolutions. I used to have them, every single year… a long list of things I was going to do or not do in order to better myself. My lists were ridiculous, with 15 or more “resolutions” piling up, making me feel empowered and ready to kick ass in the coming year.
Unfortunately, most of those resolutions never happened. I’m not saying that I have never followed through on a promise made to myself in the new year, but if I’m being realistic, I maybe tried to implement 2 or 3 out of 15 things for the first month and then either forgot about them or just gave up. I have always seen a change in myself after every year, though, and I don’t think it’s because of resolutions. I think it is because I am self-motivated to improve.
This year is different as a whole- I do not have a list of actions or bad habits to sever that will ultimately make me a “perfect” version of myself (as if!). However, I have been hearing tiny little nudges in my brain to change some things that aren’t working for me, and I’m having a bit of a crisis.
Some things that I am struggling with, even amongst the freaking amazing life I am living:
- Finding Purpose
After spending life as a student, how in the world do people continue their lives and find a career? I am proud of all I have accomplished, but this year, I really want to move towards my dreams and goals. I want to thrive, I don’t want to feel like I’m just surviving, treading water when I can be doing butterfly stroke, you know? I have no idea how I’m going to do this, but the wheels are turning so there’s a start.
2. Loving Myself
I am absolutely not saying I don’t love myself- I do. I am confident and happy and secure with who I am. I just don’t spend enough time loving myself in a way that benefits my health and wellness. I don’t take soothing baths when I know I need one, I don’t take dance classes or do yoga or hike or write enough to calm myself. Being confident is great, but taking time every day to love myself has never happened- I am too busy working or loving other people! And that is completely acceptable, but I need to balance my time loving myself and loving others.
You know all those videos and posts going around about how bad millennials suck? I disagree with pretty much everything they say, except the part about us having a hard time communicating in friendship situations. I am pretty happy having only one or two very close friends, but I don’t want that to prevent me from forming more friendships with people- I don’t want my independence to be an excuse for not forming healthy, deep bonds with others. I don’t want to prove what they say about millennials.
4. Time Management
I think about this every day- if I work 8 hours a day, take a 1 hour lunch, and spend 40 minutes traveling to and from work, that is almost TEN hours a day that is spent surviving (working to earn a paycheck that sustains my life). That is 41.6% of my day. If I spend 8 hours sleeping, that is another 33.3% of my day. Total, that is 74.9% of my LIFE. The other 25.1%… what the heck am I doing with it? Watching Grey’s Anatomy? That’s not loving myself. That’s being lazy. And sure, I can allow myself an hour of laziness per day. But beyond that, I am using poor time management skills and I am not loving myself! Of course, I will never be ale to spend the rest of my life watching no TV… some days I just have to binge. But come on, Elise! How much time is wasted watching TV when I can be writing, innovating, chasing my dreams? Living life next to this amazing man of mine an our sweet puppy?
5. Being Selfless
This one is the hardest, because I feel like I was so selfless for so long that everyone just trampled all over me and that turned me into the opposite. I want to shut my mouth and listen when others are talking and I want to correct them or say something negative. I want to learn from those wiser than me. I want to put aside my feelings for the betterment of someone else’s day. I want to stop thinking things are about me when they’re not. I want to give more of my time to doing things that will help others. I want to learn humility and patience because those traits are traits of a selfless person. I want to not be hesitant while I type that I want to learn humility and patience.
Basically, this year I want to be realistic in the ways I better myself. I don’t want to spew out a bunch of resolutions that are hopeful but just fizzle out in a short amount of time. I want to make changes within myself that positively change things and people outside of myself.
To be honest, I’m not entirely convinced that I won’t forget about some of these in a few months. And that’s okay- because it’s not a hopeless thing to say, just realistic.