Today’s culture supports self sufficiency and independence. There are self checkout lines at the grocery store, there are self serve salad bars and buffets and fountains where you refill your own drink and there are tables with just one chair, or booths facing a wall in coffee shops so you can have solitude. There are countless ways to avoid human interaction. Online shopping, for example. You don’t even have to get up out of bed to buy something anymore. Although these things are convenient, they are making it less and less normal to interact with people! We have become these people who build up more and more walls because of the lack of conversation and relation during daily activities.
This is true for EVERYONE, but today I want to share my personal experience and the negative effects of not having girlfriends.
1. Women know each other.
This may sound weird and slightly offensive, but at the core, women are ALL THE SAME. Yep, you read that right. We all are built the same way. We are sensitive creatures. We are analytical. We love being loved. We have a hard time seeing our own potential and beauty. We are compassionate. We like alot of the same things: flowers, nail polish, chocolate, etc. The main reason that I need other women in my life is because when I am going through heartbreak or when I am feeling insecure or when I am on my period and can’t get out of bed because I am in so much pain, I know that SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS. Empathy is a huge deal, and it is so refreshing to know that someone else understands and has been through the same things as you. Besides, women are so critical of themselves and others, and it is so beneficial to give or receive a compliment from another woman! If a women compliments another woman, it is not because they are flirting or want something from them. Unless they are being spiteful or dishonest, the compliment comes from the heart and is so much more flattering than it would be coming from a drooling (excuse my dramatic word choice) guy.
2. Women care.
Don’t get me wrong, men care too. But women are so much more about the details. For example, a few weeks ago I came home crying and my brother (my roommate) asked me, “Are you okay?” I said, “No.” He replied, “Okay, well I hope you feel better!” and then walked away. If they have no experience dealing with crying women, men just have no idea how to handle it. It’s like changing a babies’ diaper for the first time. “You want me to wipe WHAT?”….
Anyways. Women care. We pay attention to detail when someone is upset. We listen, we hug, we comfort, we distract. We make jokes. Whatever the person needs, we do that because of #1: We understand. Sometimes, all that needs to happen is she just needs to be heard. Having a best friend or a close friend who you can call while you are sobbing and they will say, “tell me what happened” is so special and necessary.
3. They are your sisters in Christ.
(The most important)
Not only do they understand and care, they LOVE you! They are your sisters in Christ and can not only comfort you when you’re upset and make you laugh and have fun just hanging out, but they can keep you accountable when you’re being a HUGE JERK! (I have personal experience with that one). They will correct you gently and give you feedback when you ask for it AND when you don’t ask for it. They will be honest with you and tell you when the guy you have a crush on is a butthead. And you can trust them because they answer to God our Father in heaven. They’ll even tell you if you have food in your teeth or a pimple that you didn’t see.
Having other women in our lives is so important, for these reasons and many others. It is never an excuse to say, “Well I’m a tomboy, I don’t get along with girls.” We need to WAKE UP people! If you are rationalizing and trying to explain to someone why you don’t have girlfriends, it is because you depend too much on man’s attention and their validation. I’m saying this in love, not to condemn anyone. I know it for a fact, too, because I have said those same words about being a tomboy. It is OK to not be best friends with all girls, but it is necessary to be in community with at least a few very close girlfriends and be comfortable meeting new ones and starting more friendships. God gave us each other to support one another, not to bring each other down.
Lets all just be sisters.
PS: Men are awesome, and married women your man should be your BEST friend! But girlfriends are important to edify us and help us.