Decisions

So, what i’ve been noticing about myself lately is the decisions I make. I’m pretty good at letting go of people who have hurt me, but in the end something about them always rubs off on me. Every single person that I have loved/cared about, all my past best friends, boyfriends, guys I’ve liked.. every one of them has inspired me to do something or decide something. Even ones that I still talk to and am friends with. 

For example, Mercedes helped me realize how hard it is for us God-following females to NOT date guys who aren’t walking with God. She inspired me to be patient and through her & my experiences, I’ve learned to be patient and say “okay god, he’s not right for me” when he tells me to let go. 

Kylie inspired me to continue writing, and to not be afraid of sharing things I’ve written. 

Michelle inspired me to draw if I love it, BECAUSE I love it. 

Vincent got me into tattoos and hardcore music

Travis inspired me to name my future daughter “ruby alice”

Ethan taught me about straight edge and I decided to claim it

Tre taught me about vegetarianism and I am considering it. It’s been 10 days without meat, and I’m loving vegetarian life. After 20 more days I’ll decide whether or not I wanna keep it that way. Who knows, right?

These are just a few; there are literally sooo many people who’ve contributed to my personality, helped me become who I am today. I love it though. I love looking back and saying “our friendship/relationship didn’t work, but you taught me valuable lessons and you showed me things I was missing out on before. thank you.” And all those people who claim I “change” for others? Ignorance is a terrible thing.. unfortunately there’s no direct cure for it. Open your mind and stop listening to what everyone tells you. Nobody tells me to do these things. I decide on my own. If you are in any way close to me, you know that I am way too stubborn to accept things that I don’t agree with. I’m stoked about my life and I’m ready to make changes and do things differently in order to make myself happy. I’m becoming who God created me to be, one step at a time, every day. 

I always find positive things out of hurtful situations. -shrug- it’s in my nature. 

ANYWAY! Super stoked about my decision to go to ASU this upcoming semester, I’ve been waiting so very long. Tempe, here I come! 

If you want me, try and take me. ~Hawk Nelson

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